oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
