Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Do vagina's smell?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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