Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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