College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I need a beard to bite.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
