I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
