what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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