i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
