...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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