so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
