He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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