party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
