i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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