i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
