I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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