i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
