i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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