She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
As shirtless as possible
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
