new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
