i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
