He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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