also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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