we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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