is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
