Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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