i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
