so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
