He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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