Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
