so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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