You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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