Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
