Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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