I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
