Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
