Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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