just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
