You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
