Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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