in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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