sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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