worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
