He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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