So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
