I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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