Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
