Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
