Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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