I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
