dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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