Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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