he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
